By Estefani Rondón, Director of Student Affairs & Elementary Programs
Across every age group, children learn how to belong when adults communicate a steady message: You are an important part of this community, and you also have the power to help others feel that they belong.
Friendship and community building takes practice, and every thoughtful interaction helps strengthen our Oneness-Family community.
Adults can support this process without managing every social interaction. Rather than immediately solving friendship challenges, we can coach children to notice others, communicate clearly, manage disappointment, repair mistakes, and take small social risks.
Ages 2–6
Young children are beginning to understand how to enter play, share space, and communicate their needs. Adults can model simple phrases such as,
- “What are you playing, and what can I be?”
- “May I use that when you are finished?”
- “I didn’t like that. Please stop.”
At home, practice these phrases through pretend play with dolls, stuffed animals, or family members. Help your child notice possible points of connection by asking, “Who did you work beside today?” or “Did you notice someone who might enjoy playing with you?” At this age, repeated positive interactions—rather than having one “best friend”—create the foundation for belonging.
Grades 1–3
Arbor students are developing stronger friendships while learning that cooperation requires flexibility. They may need help joining an established game, responding when friends choose something different, or recovering from feeling excluded.
Encourage your child to try specific strategies: invite someone into an activity, ask what others are playing, suggest two choices, or find another classmate with a shared interest. When conflict occurs, resist the urge to determine who was entirely right or wrong. Instead, ask, “What happened from your perspective?” “What might the other person have experienced?” and “What could you try tomorrow?” These conversations develop empathy, accountability, and problem-solving.
Grades 4–5
Remind them that belonging means being themselves while helping others feel included.
Help your child distinguish between a difficult friendship moment and a repeated pattern of unkindness. Remind them that belonging means being themselves while helping others feel included.
Encourage direct, respectful communication using language such as, “When that happened, I felt left out,” or “Can we talk about what happened?” Remind children to widen their circle by sitting with someone new, partnering with different classmates, or joining activities based on genuine interests
Grades 6–12
Adults can support them by listening without immediately giving advice, contacting another family, or stepping into the situation—unless there is a concern involving safety, bullying, harassment, or a serious power imbalance.
Ask your student what kind of support they want: “Would you like me to listen, help you think through your options, or help you involve a trusted adult at school?” Encourage them to invest in relationships that allow for honesty, mutual respect, healthy boundaries, and room for growth
